09.11 plus 8

Knowing that I was in New York City, staying just 15 'city' blocks north of the World Trade Center on a mission trip, people often ask of my memories and impressions of that day - now 8 years past. And though I certainly claim no extraordinary or prolific abilities as a writer, I am known to do so - so that folks are justifiably curious that I have not written more about that day. Sure, my thoughts are recorded - my journal of the event was immediate - and, sure, the day is often mentioned in my sermons and conversation. Yet, still, some days leave us with an impression so strong and so multi-layered, that putting such to pen is, simply, well... difficult.

On this day, however, this 8th anniversary of that day - I 'd like to make a start by recording a few words, followed by brief lines of comment, concerning how it was I felt on 09.11.2001

Confusion - From a morning jog under a beautiful blue sky, to thoughts of horrible accident and then attack - in a matter of minutes each of these 'realities' came to my mind - and we were there.

Fear - Where's is the president? Talking to Belinda by cell phone, I began to fear the worst. Where is he? Is he coming back to Washington? Is he on a plane? I have no control!!!!

A Dad's attempt - On the phone with Taylor - saying what I should regardless of how I felt - 'It's OK Baby Doll. I am safe. The world is not ending. Don't be afraid. I promise you - I WILL come home!'

Shock - There is more! A plane is down in Pennsylvania. All are lost. The Pentagon has been hit!

Anger - Someone has to pay for this. Who made these people God?

Depression - We live in a fallen, confused world. Innocent die everyday. This world is not to be worshipped, I know, but why God? What is our purpose? I know the truth, but it's not enough. Not right now. Hide me under a tree!!!

My father's teaching - 'son, there will be a day you will want to quit. On that day your decision to not do so will be the real measure of who you are as a man.'

God's Word - 'yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil - for thy rod and thy staff comfort me.'

Our common humanity - the people on the street are no longer looking down. They are looking out, around, at each other and at me. They need my eyes to look at them. They need me. I need them.

Pride - New York is no longer 'them,' it is 'us.' It is an American melting pot. People from around the globe live here - and they have touched me forever. Most embrace the opportunity of this land - and are glad for it. This place, New York, is America - just like Texas is - not perfect, at times flawed, but a place I am proud of today.

Resolve spoken - I will not live in fear. Terror will not win. I will not take life, my family, my church, my community nor my responsibility for granted. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not ever!

Sleep - Blue sky is gone. Dust fills the air. Weary from a day I pray to never know again, I lay down on a bunk in a building near 7th Ave. & a street called B - just 15 city blocks away from the worst devastation ever performed through attack that this nation has known - and slept. Not perfectly, but some.

Resolve defined - the next morning I awoke. Dust, and now death, filled the air. This was not a dream. Sirens still sounded and people still cried - but I, along with you, got up, bowed my head, and thanked God for America and for Christ Jesus my LORD - my saviour, my country, my home! Then I dressed - and went out of the building and onto the streets of a cIty called New York - never to be the same again.

Pastor Sam